Easing God Out

It’s no coincidence the first letters of that title spell EGO… I never realized how big mine used to be. There’s a sweetness in knowing who you were so you can appreciate the journey of becoming who you are. I used to fight even the idea of a spiritual journey. I “didn’t need change” so “thanks, but no thanks.” I was just caught up in my own shell. And what others thought of my shell was way more important than what they thought of my soul. I was so worldly in my youth. I wasn’t someone too concerned about my core being, just concerned about my core muscles (I could actually see them)! But I digress. The point is, I may have looked good but that doesn’t mean I WAS good.

I mean it’s not like anyone ever said,”check out the ego on that girl.” And maybe that’s why I never called it that. But it quickly showed itself if someone crossed me or disagreed with me and heaven help them if they hurt my feelings (my feelings were on my sleeve just ASKING for it most days)! My ego was out of hand. I can see that now.

You know who saw it even then? My father. God. No secrets. Just truth. And He loved me just as much as ever. I didn’t seek Him too much back then. So it stands to reason I didn’t really HEAR much back from Him either. I floundered a few years before marrying the alcoholic. Then I hoped he would change FOR ME. Talk about ego! We both eased God right out of our marriage and then we were shocked when it failed.

I used to be the funny one. Not because I tried to be. But because crap just flew out of my mouth, bypassing my brain altogether! My mom always called it “quick wit” but that’s because she refused to say “smart ass”. June doesn’t cuss even if it is technically the name of one of God’s creatures… I’ve still got something to say about almost everything but now I rein in 90, well more like 80, percent on a good day. Trying to back off the spotlight and give it to God has been a little challenging. But friends, the rewards are exponential!!! God placed truth seekers and truth tellers into my life and disguised them as friends and family. He gave me a new husband who loves Him and prays with me.

I have peace now. I’m talking real, love in my heart for everyone, no trickle down kicking the dog bad day experiences (not that I EVER kicked a dog in my LIFE-just making a point, people). The ease of waking up happy on a daily basis is priceless. Y’all. Even MONDAYS!

I used to leave little to no room for God because my ego was too big. But now?? I have no room for ego because God is too big! He wants to be the center of your life too. Your meaning. Because He is love. And He wants that peace for you. If you’re struggling with ego, please start here and read His word and then meditate each morning. It will do you so much good, but not just you. Your friends, your family, your co-workers.

We are called to be the light. That light cannot shine through a dim old ugly ego. Fold it up and put it in your pocket. Maybe you won’t use it long enough that you’ll forget it altogether! That’s definitely MY goal.

2 Peter 1:6